To celebrate Pride month, I caught up with our favourite nurse and Keeping the Beat friend, Dominick Varsalone, to get an understanding of whether he believes things have improved since his time in the trenches during the AIDS epidemic. After all, it’s harder to keep the beat when you’re up against discrimination and hatred.
Great to touch base again Dominick. I’d love to hear how you feel attitudes towards same sex couples has changed since your time as an AIDS nurse in the 1990s?
I think most same sex couples feel better now about who they are, how they fit into our society and having legal marriage rights. That being said, I am not too sure that the people who never liked gay marriage to begin with have changed much. Depending on where we live, it seems to be getting worse. There will always be people from every country in the world who do not approve of someone being gay. I witnessed that during the early AIDS epidemic with mothers disowning their own children for being gay. Seeing people being discriminated in their workplaces, being evicted from their apartments or even being bullied to the point of death during those days was almost more to bear than having HIV/AIDS itself. As time went on this changed for the better. Treatments got better and kept people alive.
The new millennium seemed to bring a renewed acceptance for most things LGBTQ. However, if you add Politics or Religion to the equation the attitude usually turns into hatred. I don’t think this will ever end, at least not in my lifetime. In some countries it seems to have now gotten worse. Women, people of color, LGBTQ and especially the transgendered communities are again hate targets of right-wing politics and deeply fundamentalist religious people. Therefore, while the focus of the hate from the AIDS era is different now, I feel it will always be present in some form.
I’m sorry to hear this Dominick…the world is very volatile at the moment. How do you feel about the future for acceptance and diversity?
For me personally acceptance has been like a roller coaster ride. Sometimes I feel really positive and encouraged about how people feel about “me just being me.” Just when I am feeling ready to allow myself to be completely out of the closet, someone or some group will be in my face trying to push me back in. Once again, I think this has a lot to do with who is in charge politically and religiously. For me personally, when I feel the love of people I can feel their acceptance of me for who I am and I embrace that. When I feel that someone is not being accepting I try my best to stay positive, stay focused and not spend too much time in their company unless I have to. In those times I swallow my pride and try my best to keep my mouth shut.
If we were experiencing AIDS right now for the first time in 2020, do you think society would react differently?
I feel there would be little or no difference at all except for who “they” blame. For AIDS it was the LGBTQ community. Looking today at COVID-19 which came out of China, the focus has been on blaming Asians. People from around the world people now look at Asian people differently. Race, especially in the US, keeps coming up as an issue again and again. It is the same for women’s rights. It seems to me that as long as white men are in charge of the religious and political arenas they will always be pointing fingers and putting the blame on one group or another.
In conclusion, I always feel that if love is really at the core of everything we do, we will succeed. People need to learn to love themselves first and then learn to share that love with everyone, regardless of race, color or creed. As a person who has had Heart Health Issues, you know you need to care for your Heart Health in order to live a happy healthy life. I am so glad for you that you are doing that and sharing your experiences with all of us. In addition to that I am elated that you also can find it in your Heart to be my friend and ally. You accept me for who I am and for that I am truly grateful. Now we all need to share the love that comes from our hearts to make a better world for ALL who inhabit it.
Thank you Dominick, I’m grateful for your connection and your positivity despite your own struggles. It’s true that we must be internally content and healthy before we can turn to help others. I’ve found that it was important to build my own energy and resilience first. Once we find true strength, we can then use it to impact those around us with a positive light. Something you have done all your life. Take care.
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