Content warning: mentions suicide, heart attack and mental health issues
I'm very grateful for your time, Sallie. You’ve had a series of health challenges. Why did you specifically create your heart health website myheartandmind.co.uk?
In 2016 within a period of 6 months, I experienced two life-changing health events. Whilst I had my leg in a plaster cast due to a ruptured Achilles tendon, I had a heart attack and a breast cancer diagnosis. They both affected me differently and I realised that it wasn’t just my physical body that was affected. For some people (including me) the most devasting change after a cardiac event is shock and trauma, along with the anxiety and depression that follows. Equally the diagnosis of cancer is just as devastating.
The NHS cardiac team were amazing despite the complications caused by my health circumstances. For me there was great a difference between the emotional support available as a person living with a cancer diagnosis and someone living with cardiovascular disease.
Having my leg in plaster kept me isolated as I was in a wheelchair and knew no one that had experienced a heart attack. I became acutely aware of the mental health issues that accompanied the realisation that I was no longer invincible and that my mind and body had failed me. I felt like I had failed myself and the people that loved me.
I needed some emotional support and a community so I joined a Facebook group. Through the community I began to realise I wasn’t alone. I no longer felt terrified, I could see that other people were experiencing the same confusion, fear, fatigue, anxiety, depression and sleeplessness as me. It literally saved my life as there were times when I had wished I hadn’t survived.
It was then that I realised that I really wanted to focus my business on helping others who lived with heart disease. I call it emotional cardiac rehab - it makes use of the tools for change that I have learnt as a hypnotherapist, NLP practitioner and life coach. You can learn the art of living happy after a cardiac event.
My work is not about the medical or physical side of recovery. It is around the survivorship mindset of being able to thrive, not just survive. It is the foundation on which you can reduce risk factors and make lifestyle changes that are needed to keep you healthy and happy.
2. What was the most challenging thing for you about recovering from your heart event? How long did it take for you to feel good again?
I think the most challenging thing for me after coming home from hospital was the shock, fear, confusion and depression. I no longer trusted myself or my body. Not to mention being isolated as I couldn’t go to the NHS Cardiac Rehabilitation Classes until I was weight bearing enough to use a bike.
I would say 12 months but it is a journey for me and not a destination. It’s quite normal to have days when you don’t feel so good from time to time, it’s how you manage them and your thoughts that really makes a difference. I am still on this journey, I am human, I am a work in progress.
3. Absolutely Sallie, I believe it took me about six months to feel confident again, but there are sometimes moments of lapses. Self-belief and resilience can take a battering after any setback. How did you re-build yourself mentally after your events?
Having had many life-altering experiences personally, working with others to support them though life change and having a fantastic support network of friends and family meant I had a pretty good resilience muscle. I used meditation, affirmations, mini goal-setting, gratitude, breath work and remembering to take baby steps. I found talking about my experience and listening to others that have also had cardiac health issues reassuring. I don’t think there is one specific path to help us all, it is very much different strokes for different folks.
4. I have a daily mantra around the idea of STONG MIND. STRONG BODY- do you or did you introduce any daily mantras or positive self-talk?
Yes, I do. I used (and still do) affirmations and meditations every day. During my recovery two of my favourites were:
“I am lucky, lucky things happen to me all the time. Something really lucky is going to happen to me today and it’s going to be a fabulous surprise.”
“I love myself; I love myself; I really, really love myself.”
Nowadays I use various different affirmations and mantras depending on what is appropriate for me on that day, week or month.
5. Is there any specific language that you use or don’t use? For example, I now try to avoid using words like ‘attack’ and ‘pain’, as I feel they negatively feedback into the body.
Yes, you are so right. our language is linked to our feelings and our body. Although I still use both of the two you mention. All words have their place and the meaning we attach to them. I tend to say things like ‘less than good’ rather than bad. I like to thrive rather than survive. I also like to call myself a cardiac warrior, I can see myself as a Viking Shield Maiden!
I pay attention to my inner chatter, my thoughts, as they impact on my feelings and my body. For example, I am mindful of the thought ‘why does it always happen to me’. If I notice I think that thought then I ask myself what the ‘it’ is and do I really mean ‘always’
6. From your experience and research, how do you thrive after a heart event?
I don’t believe I have THE answer to this question but I do believe that the mind/body connection is a thing!
There are so many other medical and lifestyle factors that contribute to being able to thrive after a heart event that they should be considered holistically. From my perspective, pragmatically and emotionally, I think the following definitely set me up for success along with the medical interventions I was given.
Build a great relationship with your Cardiologist, his secretary and your GP. Prepare in advance to appointments and make sure that you ask questions to ensure your understanding.
Make friends with your Cardio Rehab Team, attend all of your sessions including the discussions around lifestyle changes and your medications. Follow through with your exercise, nutrition and lifestyle changes plan. Ask for help if needed. Remember they are trying to keep you alive not make your life a misery.
Don’t expect miracles, it takes your body and mind a while to recover. I thought a few days rest and I would be tickety-boo, how wrong I was! Be kind to yourself.
I found that there are 6 mindsets that were part of my emotional recovery and that there were 4 stages of my physical recovery.
The stages of my physical recovery were 1) my heart event’, then 2) after hospital but before cardiac rehab, then 3) during and after cardio rehab going back to everyday life and finally 4) my 1st ‘heartiversary’ and the rest of my life.
The mindsets that I base my work of emotional cardiac rehabilitation on are Acceptance, Energy, Hope, Purpose, Confidence and Direction.
These 6 mindsets helped me initially as I worked through them in order, one building on the other. They helped me evolve into my new life and heal physically, mentally and emotionally. Once I had my foundation built, I found that I needed different amount of each at different times to help me make the life changes I needed and to learn to love the life I live.
Here’s a simplified version of how these mindsets help to create shifts in our emotional wellbeing.
To accept the situation, yourself, what was and what is, along with your limitations. You will know that different is good, if not better - you have your new life, right here, right now.
To gain energy to fuel your ‘new life’, make the necessary changes, to be resilient and to take responsibility for your recovery. This is your physical, mental and emotional well-being.
To create hope for the future, to look forward and find ways of focusing on what you want. Find out what you can do/have/want/be so you can live and love life.
To find your purpose, your meaning, the get-up and go that has you jumping out of bed in the morning. Your ‘thing’ that makes you feel real and good.
To get out of your own way. You can rid yourself of doubt. You can grow your self-belief. Grow your confidence to take baby steps (at first), then leap right outside of your comfort zone.
To know your path, the direction you want to take. Your overall goal, where to start, the steps to take, what is needed to achieve it and the support that you will need.
7. Wow, that’s powerful information – I wish I had heard that 2 years ago. But I suppose my path to discovering this is all part of the journey. What is the best thing to come out of your heart experience?
The best thing! There is so much that it’s hard to know where to start or if there is even a best. If I must only say one thing then it’s … ‘understanding that it is people and experiences that really truly bring me joy’.
In summary, I have found ‘my life purpose’ to be of service to others who live with coronary heart disease.
8. That’s a great purpose Sallie. Now, we all have good and bad days, especially during these periods of isolation - how do you focus on the positive?
Luckily for me I am naturally a glass overflowing kind of person. It can annoy the life out of people but it is who I am. I think that the many years I have worked on myself through my trainings in positive psychology have definitely helped.
I don’t believe you can be positive all the time and we occasionally need to accept it and spend a little time being kind to ourselves. There is nothing wrong with having a ‘duvet and Netflix’ or ‘a book on the sofa’ day.
Regular practice of the techniques I teach means that they have become ingrained habits and are automatic. Isolation can be very difficult and exhausting. Having structure throughout the day and during the week definitely helps me.
For fear of repeating myself the mindset of acceptance, creating energy, having hope, finding purpose, being confident to take action in the right direction all underpins how I focus on the good stuff.
9. How can we find out more about your work?
I’m just launching my free My Heart & Mind podcast. My show focusses on your mindset, your thoughts and feelings, so you can feel good now. It’s about the art of living happy after a cardiac event. I have created it to help you to make the lifestyle changes that will allow you to love the life you live. I can be with you each week, supporting you and encouraging you on your journey of life.
Each episode of the podcast will be about sharing ideas, tips and tricks to transform how you feel after a cardiac trauma. Rehabilitation for how you think and your emotions.
If anyone wants to know more, click here to read my post about how to listen to a podcast about emotional cardiac rehabilitation. You can also join my update email list so I can let you know when I go live www.myheartandmind.co.uk/updates.
Fantastic Sallie, I’m very aligned with your goals and believe your words will be a great source of comfort to people who have recently experienced a heart setback. Take care and I’ll be sure to check out your podcast.
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